Hi. My name is Nathan and I’m a recovering perfectionist.

I pride myself on my calendar and my ability to keep my schedule organized and stay on top of a boatload of commitments. I probably pride myself on this a little too much. Because whenever there are any hiccups or errors on my part, I get into pretty fiery shame-spirals about it.

Last week, I completely forgot about a phone call I had scheduled with a friend. To be fair, so did she. You would think that fact would have made it easier for me to just reach out and deal with it as soon as I realized. But nope. Instead, I decided to sit on it, and over the course of 24 hours, beat myself up and play out the different scenarios of her being super pissed off at me for the mistake.

I finally mustered up the courage to reach out. And as you might expect, it was, for her, NO. BIG. DEAL.

What the heck? Is there a way to avoid this suffering and to find our way out of this morass of self-flatulation for seemingly small errors with a little more velocity and ease?

The answer is yes. And it takes self-reflection, new mindsets and practice. And with practice comes the opportunity to make it habit. The truth is 10 years ago, that kind of lapse in a relationship might’ve taken me out all together. Ghost them completely. 24 hours is a huge improvement! And as I continue to grow there are situations in which the turnaround time is instantaneous.

Self-compassion can go from being something you practice to becoming your natural way of being.  With the right mindsets, structures and actions, you can be compassionate with yourself in the moments that will make a difference. Through self-reflection and the support of coach mentor or the right kind of friend, you can uncover the things that may have gotten in the way of you accessing your natural ability to express compassion for yourself. From there, you can be freed up to take action to fulfill what matters to you most!